Commissioner

The Commissioner of Baseball is a character from Baseball, and the main antagonist of the story.(though he isn't really a villain) He appears to be a caricature of Bud Selig, Commissioner at the time and visually very similar. He is not only overweight(being a huge fan of hotdogs), but he both smokes and drinks, apparently having a taste for cigars and wine.

Events of Baseball[edit]

He first appears early in the episode at the Dodger Stadium, walking into a guarded room and smoking a cigar. His Baseball Guards manage to stop Dan from breaking in.

His presense looms over the episode, but he doesn't appear again til the final act, when the DC Hotdog Guy accidentally tips Dan off to his location in the [RFK Memorial Stadium]] skybox. Dan breaks in using a disguise, but fails his initial attack due to his smaller size. The Commissioner attempts to mace Dan, but it fails as Dan is immune to irritant gas due to repeated exposure. Dan turns the mace against him, knocks him out, and stuffs him in the hot dog truck.

Despite his attempts to plead with them, Dan gags him before he can talk his way out. He spends the next two days in their trunk as they drive back to Los Angeles. When they finally get to Casa Paradiso, they take the Commissioner inside to interrogate. He points out the state of filth Dan's apartment, and expresses severe confusion at Dan's plan. Eventually, he offers to pay for his mirror, hoping to be freed, but this fails as Dan already planned a 'deathtrap', the concept of which scares and confuses the Commissioner. Despite repeatedly asking, Dan refuses to tell him what it is.

His attempts to plead for mercy are ignored, as Dan hoists him up into the deathtrap(actually just a kiddie pool) and attempts to use him as random. This fails, as the Commissioner is too heavy and breaks the rope. He then surrenders his phone to Dan.

He apparently loves Population Control Johnny, and is confused when Dan mentions he pre-empted it. This prompts Dan to let the man go after he promises to never do so again. Dan and Chris, however, fail to untie him, and instead abandon him in the Mojave Desert, never to be seen again.

He presumably kept his promise, as Dan never hears from him again.

Trivia[edit]

He is likely based off of Bud Selig. In 2011, he was the Commissioner of Major League Baseball, and wears a similar outfit.
Despite fitting most of the physical cliches of a villain(fat, rich, ugly, drinker, smoker, powerful) he is actually one of the more realistic and reasonable people in the show.
It's technically possible he died, as he is never mentioned again. But being alongside a highway, he was more likely found and brought back to D.C.

Gallery[edit]

Welcome to Ancapistan!
I love being rich.
What the fuck are these idiots doing?
HELP, THESE STRANGE MEN ARE FORCIBLY SHOVING THEIR WIENERS IN MY MOUTH!
Mmmph mmm hrmmama
GET AWAY FROM ME, I SURVIVED A FIGHT WITH TREVOR PHILLIPS!
I have one million dollars if that helps, Mr. Doctor Professor Evil Sir.
WHERE AM I? I'M LOST!
HELP ME!
Pictured: The REAL Bud Selig