Great Great Grandfather Pearson

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Never a bird he couldn't charm, Never a yeti he couldn't love.

Chris's Great Great Grandfather, AKA The Attempted Axe Murder, Great Great Grandfather Pearson, the Woodsman, AxeMan, or Yeti Lover, was a descendant of Chris's who lived in early Canada.


Life Summary[edit]

Early Years[edit]

Little is known about his early life. We know he had a career as a lumberjack, with a beautiful wife and a newly born son. He was also apparently very good with animals, as he had several bird friends and (depending on how you interpret things) MAY already begun relations with a yeti. One day, while out working, he fell into a deep hole, stumbling upon the legendary glacial weak point. He was forced to do unspeakable things to keep warm(likely climbing inside an animals corpse or using urine, though this is mere speculation)

Returning Home[edit]

After seven years missing, he was presumably able to find a way out of the chasm and make his way back to his cabin. By the time he returned, he had clearly grown a long beard from years without grooming. Unfortunately for him, however, his wife had him declared dead and was forced to remarry after three years due to 'Canadian Law'. Her new husband was a wealthy older man named Skip. His young son had also grown some, now being a adolescent child.

Mental Breakdown[edit]

Due to legally being dead and no longer being married to his wife, he was forced to sleep in the barn. A series of nightmares apparently swept him during the night, as the series of unfortunate events finally triggered a mental breakdown. Axe in hand, he burst into his house during dinner, attempting to murder his family(though Skip appears to have been the main target) His family, however, survived the attack, and fled to the United States(though this apparently had more to do with his Yeti loving habits, as axe murder was a dime a dozen)

Final Years[edit]

After the attack failed, he fled back into the woods. Ranting in an insane fit, he swore to make the world pay, screaming to the heavens they would all pay. He apparently resumed his relations with the Yeti(who was still alive in the modern day and apparently living in the same place)as they became friends and eventually husband and husband. He sought to re-discover the weak spot on the glacier. Based on the position of his corpse, he apparently succeeded in finding the weak point, and spent the last years of his life attempting to destroy it. (It's unclear why he failed. Maybe he was too weak to lift his axe by this point, or perhaps the weakpoint was originally much larger, but he had worked it down to it's current state just before dying)

His corpse was likely lost in the avalanche.

Trivia[edit]

  • His Yeti loving tendency's would technically qualify as bestiality, though in episode it's used as an analogy for being a homosexual.
  • Based on the fact he would have been 'around 130' in 2011 he was likely born in the late 1870s. Based on looks he likely disappeared between 1900-1910 and returned between 1910-1920. When he died is nearly impossible to say, but it was likely in the late 1920s or early 1930s.
  • His son, born in the nineteen oughts, was Chris's great grandfather and likely gave birth to Chris's grandfather in the late 1930s or early 1940s.
  • His appearence in his younger years may have been a reference to the Monty Python 'Lumberjack' sketch. This is further backed by his 'odd' love related habits.
  • Oddly enough, his yeti marriage ring was on his hands before getting lost. This either means he had already begun having relations with the yeti(likely, considering his frequent visits to the woods and the fact seeing the ring immediately confirmed to Chris he was a yeti lover) OR it was a family ring he had previously used to mark his marriage to his wife(backed up by the timeline, and the fact it alligns with Dan's story. Dan is usually right)

Gallery[edit]