From The Dan VS Wiki

The Independant Logistics and Security Android, or ILSA is the highly advanced android bodyguard, assistant, security manager and lover of tech tycoon Barry Ditmer, design basis for an army of mindless ILSA Security Drones and the Tertiary Antagonist of Dan Vs. Technology.


ILSA is a slightly above average height (5'5 or 165 cm scaled to Elise) feminine android, with fairly mid range white skin and winter-blonde hair. Her build is fairly standard, perhaps slightly more fit then average, though this is deceiving as her android body is capable of feats surpassing peak human. She is shown with a sleek lavender suit, large violet glasses, and a purple button on her shirt(this appears to be connected to the central control system in the office, which is how Barry can control her) Most notably, however, are her bright violet eyes, not possible for normal humans under any circumstances outside of contact lenses(even albinos, while faintly purplish, are not this shade)


In many ways, ILSA's personality reflects that of her creator. Optimistic and relentlessly technocratic to the point of borderline trans-humanist beliefs, a fan of modern sleek and shiny architecture, and perfectly fine with "Mass Direct Synaptic Control", or, mind control.

However, she is still her own individual in many ways, noticeably significantly more concerned about the security threat then Barry.(who was quick to dismiss it, though this may have been out of the knowledge ILSA and The Shadow Government would handle the problem rather then out of blind dismissal) Despite this, she seemingly saw no problem in telling Elise about the mind control plan, indicacting perhaps Barry failed to program a proper degree of secrecy within her and she truly did have blind optimism in technology.

Alongside this, she is relentlessly loyal and protective of any threat to Barry Ditmer, perceived or real, keeping an eye on the various listening devices at all times, immeditaly calling in The Shadow Government to quash the potential threat, and attempting to aid Barry while in the midst of the fight(though this would eventually cost her as the distraction allowed her to be deactivated)

ILSA Clones[edit]

Main Article: ILSA Security Clones

A series of security drones physically identical to her were created by Barry to protect him in the event of an emergency. Despite being outwardly identical and just as capable in contact, they are simplistic in personality, simply following commands directly from Barr, and lack the advanced programming of ILSA.

Events of Dan Vs Technology[edit]

One of the Omnicron passive listening devices detected Dan's degree to "Destroy Barry Ditmer", alerting ILSA immediately and prompting her to report the threat to Barry.

Dismissing the possibility of someone having never owned a computer before(incorrectly as it turns out), and coming to the false conclusion Casa Paradiso was a front address due to it's trashed and 'derelict' state, ILSA concluded Dan was a credible threat(likely Chinese) and immediately recommended calling Eagle's Nest's organization to provide security.

Once Dancing Shadow arrived, ILSA personally escorted her into the main room to meet Barry, before allowing her to walk off for the initial check, choosing to stay behind with Barry for the time. She joins Elise on the tour shortly after, however, taking her through the main exhibit room and eagerly showing her some of Barry's latest inventions, such as an anti-gravity waterfall or a hologram projector.

ILSA however, fails to consider Elise would be displeased by Barry's "Direct Synaptic Control" (Mind Control) project, instead eagerly proclaiming it's superiority to his prior inventions and sharing her enthusiasm in his grand vision. She also fails to monitor where Elise goes after, instead returning to Barry.

Once Elise makes her intentions to thwart Barry clear, however, ILSA immediately steps in to protect him, swapping into her 'combat outfit'. The fight immediately swings in her favor, as Elise was unaware she was an android up to this point, but Elise seemingly takes the lead after cutting off both of her arms with a cyber dagger. ILSA, however, utilizes her enhanced stretching arms and manages to put the helmet on Elise, thereby putting her under the direct control of Barry.

Shortly thereafter, the security system detects the presence of Dan and Chris, prompting ILSA to immediately alert Barry of the threat. She, however, stays behind in the penthouse with him, allowing the freshly mind controlled Elise to handle the fight.

Dan manages to free Elise however, and the duo override the elevator security to breech the penthouse. ILSA once again charges forward to defend Barry, even dodging the daggers that disarmed her in the prior fight. However, Elise, now aware she's an android and fully loyal to Barry, exploits her programming and instead throws the daggers at Barry(missing him, but pinning his clothes to the wall) distracting ILSA and giving Elise the opportunity to deactivate her.

She was destroyed in the explosion of Omnicron HQ, along with her creator and her many mindless sisters.


  • She is in many ways meant to be a parrell to Elise, serving Barry just as she serves Eagle's Nest and The Shadow Government, and even wearing a similar chrome combat outfit as Elise occasionally does.
  • Her purple eyes and extremely fair skin MAY be a reference to Alexandria's Genesis, a fictional medical condition that originated in a Daria Fanfiction, but spread across the internet in the late 2000s as a hoax perpetuated by the Alternate Medicine community, many people creating false evidence about the conditions legitimacy or even claiming to have the faux condition themselves.
  • She also bears a resemblance to the terminator, as Onicrom Violet itself may be a reference to Skynet